Anger and how to control it

[احمد سامى]

In the name of God the Merciful
Peace, mercy and blessings of Allah

Anger and how to control it


We all know what anger is and we all felt it: whether it was just a feeling of harassment or was in the form Thorarma.

Anger is a natural human emotion very well and healthy, but when they get out of our control to turn something devastating cause problems - problems at work, problems in personal relationships and quality of life that we live in general, may make you feel at the mercy of a strong emotion is expected.

This aim is to help you understand the anger that Aaatarik and how to control it.

What is anger?

Anger is an emotionally charged case of severity ranges between mild harassment to a state of overwhelming the revolution, according to psychologist Charles Spielberg specialist in the study of anger. Emotions such as anger again, accompanied by psychological and biological changes; angry than when heart rate and blood pressure in addition to increasing levels of energy hormones, adrenaline and light Eranalin.

Anger may be due to external events or internal. May be angry at a specific person (or your colleague, your boss at work) or event (a traffic jam or cancellation of travel), or may be the result of anxiety or harassment related to personal problems. Memories or trauma or provocative positions can also release emotions of anger inside you.

Expression of anger?

Natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural reaction to the threats Taqlma; he inspires strong feelings and behaviors and aggressive fighting and allow you to defend yourself when you attack is located. So you need a certain amount of anger to keep the stay.

On the other hand you can overthrow all the people in front of you or something bothering you not for the laws and social customs and logic, which sets limits to the angry reactions.

People use operations in the conscious and subconscious to deal with feelings of anger. There are three major processes of expression and the repression and appeasement. Healthiest way to express anger is to deliver without resorting to aggressive. To do so you must learn how to clarify your needs and how the other is seeking to met by you without causing harm. Connect the feelings of anger do not mean to be an urgent or demanding, but respectful of yourself and others.

You can suppress your anger and then transforming it or change its direction. This occurs when holding your anger and stop thinking about it and then focus on something positive. The goal here that suppress your anger and turn it into positive behavior. The seriousness of the reaction of this type is that if you did not allow the expression of these feelings to the outside that it could turn against yourself internally. Anger that turns inward causing tension and increase blood pressure or depression patients.

Feelings of anger that are not expressed may cause other problems. In expressions may cause other conditions such as passive aggression (the revenge of the people causing the anger indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confront them), or may result in the creation of hostile sarcastic personality. Figures that frustrate others constantly criticizes everything around and utter sarcastic comments, did not learn how to express anger constructively, so do not surprise you that these can not form relationships social success.

In the end, you can calm yourself internally. This means that not only control your behavior outside of you and your reactions but also the interior and take steps to reduce heart rate and calm yourself and let the feelings subside.

D goes on. Spielberg said that when the failure of all these steps then you know that someone (or something) Satazy.

Anger Management?

The objective of anger management is to reduce the emotional feelings and the psychological motives that cause anger. You can not get rid of or avoid the things or people that cause you anger will not be able to change it but you can control your reactions.

Why some people are angrier than others?

According to psychologist Dr. Jerry Daenbatcher who specializes in anger management, some people are already more anger than others; are easy to bouts of anger and Igdhabhm more than the average public. There also do not show their anger loudly and striking scenes, but they are living with chronic stress. Irritable people, not necessarily because they swear and throw things around them; sometimes withdraw socially and physically sick and Aabson.

Irritable people have what psychologists call an impaired ability to bear frustration, meaning simply that they feel should not be subjected to frustration or inconvenience or harassment. They can not look at the events of a broad perspective and get angry if it seemed to them the situation is unfair. For example: someone has to correct the error simple.

What makes these people get this style? There are many reasons. One of them may be genetically or physiology: There are indications that some children are born quickly and easily the emotion of anger, these signs appear in the very early age. Another reason social - anger is a negative thing we have learned that I do not mind to show anxiety and depression or any other emotions, but anger is prohibited. As a result, do not learn how to deal with him from a young age and how to get it out in the positive channels.

Search found also that family history plays an important role. The characters easy to anger comes from the families of either shredded or Fodhaouih or unskilled in emotional communication.

Is it best to remove everything?

Psychologists say that this argument is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory Ktsrih them to harm others. The research found out that everything during the anger actually lead to more anger and more aggression and does nothing to help or assist the person who upset in the treatment of the problem.

It is better to look for what reason provoke your anger and then develop strategies to distance yourself from what your up to the edge of the abyss.

Strategies to keep your anger latent

Relaxation: You can use simple tools such as relaxation or deep self Imagine sending images to calm psychological. There are books and training courses that can teach you relaxation mechanisms and once you learn these mechanisms can be used in any position. If you are on a relationship with someone and you both anger Flakma easy to learn these mechanisms together.

There are some simple steps that you can try:

- Take a deep breath from your diaphragm, breathing from your chest will not help you to relax, to imagine yourself coming out of Ahhaúk.

- Echoed slowly calming word such as "Calm down" or "Take it smoothly and easily." Shouted the word to yourself while breathing deeply.

- Use your imagination and imagine something that helps you relax, whether you have had experience of or inspired by your imagination.

- Non-stressful exercise slow yoga-like relaxation can notify you of your muscles and calm.

March this day and learning mechanisms used automatically when they are in the position of tense.

Cognitive restructuring

This means that simply changing the way you think. Angry tend to insult and curse words or talk very variegated reflect the content of inner thoughts. When you are angry your mind becomes very exaggerated to judge situations around you. Try replacing these thoughts with a more logical. For example, instead of saying to yourself "What is this? It's a disaster, it is something extremely bad, everything may be spoiled and over," Say to yourself "It's something frustrating, my anger logical, but it is not the end of the world and anger will not fix anything anyway" .

Beware of using words like always and never, "This machine does not work at all" or "You always forget things," these sentences are not as accurate as they make you feel that your anger is not justified and that there is a way to solve the problem. It is also alienate or offend the people around you who have a desire to work with you to find a solution.

Remind yourself that your anger will not solve anything and will not make you feel better (and may even make you worse).

Logic predominantly anger because anger, even the justification of it, could turn very quickly not to logic. So use pure logic to convince the Pacific by yourself. Remind yourself that "the world does not want to they destroy you" and that everything there that you face the maze of daily life. Do that whenever angry to get out the best of you and will help you to be more balanced vision. Angry demanding things: justice, appreciation, agreement, provided that it is in their own way. All people pursue these demands and we are all hurt and frustrated if lost, but angry and when they claim their demands fail to turn frustration into anger. As part of the cognitive restructuring, angry need to be aware of the nature of their demands and translate their expectations into desires, in other words, say "I like to get something" instead of "I call on this thing," or "should I get it." When failing to get what you want will go through normal reactions - frustration, sadness - but not anger. Some use anger as a means angry to avoid feeling sad, but that does not mean that has left them feeling sad.

Problem-solving

Sometimes the reason for the frustration real problems can not escape. There is a belief that every social problem and its solution increases your frustration when you find problems unresolved. Better position to deal with this is lack of focus on the solution, but focus on how to address the problem.

Make a plan and followed your progress in it. Try to give the best that you do not punish yourself if you do something wrong. If you can deal with your problems the best intentions and efforts and if you have tried seriously to face the likelihood of missing out Vstqll patience and fall into the likelihood and the Department of "either all or nothing", even if it did not solve your problems.

Better communication

Angry tend to jump to conclusions and act on the basis of some of these conclusions are not accurate at all. The first thing you do when you are in heated discussion is slow down a bit and think about your reactions. At least the first thing that comes in your mind, but slowed and think carefully about what you want to say. In the same suspension Listen carefully to what others are saying and take your time in answering.

Listen also to the guise of anger. For example, you like a wide range of personal freedom and non-interference by others in your life and the other wants more near you and a closer relationship. If he or she began to complain about your activities do not respond by saying to your partner that Calcjan or that he wants to put a leash around your neck and Iqidk.

It is natural to take on the defensive when criticized, but does not appear offensive attack, listened to and behind the words: the message that the other wants to lead them to you is that he felt neglected by you and not loved. You may need to some inquiries and patience to reach this result, but do not let your anger get out of control the dialogue. Maintain calm makes you turn without turning the discussion to the position of the dimensions of his grave.

Changing the environment

Sometimes the environment is the cause of anger. Problems and responsibilities can be heavy on you and cause of your anger you feel you are in the trap occurred, and where all the characters and the things that make up this trap.

Give yourself a break. Mark for yourself and your own time, especially in periods of the day, which increases the tension. One example of that working women return from their work, they can take a period of 15 minutes in the quiet after entering the house and controls so as not to speak with one of her children unless there was a calamity. After this period, this mother will feel that it is prepared to deal with the demands of their children without the need for screaming in their faces as a result of the explosion that follows the sequence pressure.

Some tips to relieve yourself

Time: If you find that you and your wife arguing during Manaakecatkma in the evening was probably due to the accumulation of stress because of the day or dispersion, or they are just usually try to change the times when the debate would like to speak on important issues so as not to turn this debate into a fight.

Avoidance: If your son was a messy room is the cause of your anger every day while the exercise of its part Vaggay door. Do not look to what angers you. Do not say that your son to clean his room so I would not outraged, this is not the goal but the goal that you keep calm for calm after Tsttiei charity act.

Alternatives: If your career in the daily traffic jams, which is great cause you anger and frustration that you can change the line of another less crowded circus or created other alternatives such as Go Underground or any other suitable means of transportation.

In the end, remember that you will not be able to erase the anger of existence which is not a good idea even if you can. Things happen around you and sometimes Ngillk will be fully justified anger, life is full of frustration, pain and loss and the unexpected acts of others and you can not change that, but you can change how the impact of these events to you. To control the angry reactions limit the impact of these events on your life and make you happier in the long run

[سمسم]

موضوع مهم جدا عن التحكم فى الغضب
جزاك الله خيرا

[احمد سامى]

جزانا واياك كل خير سمسم